Nivedita Ramakrishnan
Bumps in a relationship are inevitable, and so are break-ups. The reason for the break-up is largely important just as its effects also are. Some of us may choose to move on while some others would still want to stick to the past. But whatever we feel about the break-up, there must definitely be a few common things that we all face when we near the very 1st anniversary of the break-up. Yes? No? If no, then go through a few of these points and then you'll see yourself swaying towards a few "yes"-es.
During our relationship or just after the break-up, whether we remember our doctors' phone numbers or even our own numbers, we'd remember that of our partners. But that may take a turn for the better when its nearly a year since you broke it off. Very few may remember though. Well, why would you want to? If you've decided to break it off with him/her for good, and if your subconscious has truly accepted that as well, then you will easily not recall it anymore.
Over the years (or months or weeks), you would have an accumulation of his things at your places. Clothes, CDs, gifts, cards, movie tickets and even restaurant bills! You would have made sure to return all of that while handing back his stuff like the very clean-off person that you are. But there will always be something or the other that might have missed your mind--you might have either completely forgotten it or you might simply want to have it with you. Nonetheless, there will be just very few items.
Which will be non-relevant to the life you are now leading as they will hold little or no meaning to them anymore. Yes, you might as well do better without those things. Unless they're of some really good worth eh...
Right after the break-up happened, you would have unfollowed your ex on all social media outlets in a fit of rage and anger and hurt. But very soon and over the following months, you would want to (and also not want to, but you would do it anyway) follow them back online. You'd be spying on what they were doing, whether they were having fun without you or if they've met yet another "special" person. Yes, true, true.
But now? Nah, those regular urges of wanting to check up on them in that way might as well have vanished for good. You simply wouldn't feeling like doing it anymore. Which is good!
Yes, we all know that we like doing this. And why not, I ask!
The ex should know that you're fine without him/her. While this may be easily childish, it may also mean that we are mature enough to handle the ex chapter by now.
You liked your ex, loved, then broke-up, then hated your ex.
And then? Now...?
Na-da. Gone with the wind would be your very hateful thoughts about that person. The person who you are now would have learnt better to move on, in all meanings of the term, and even now if you meet your ex, you would be ready to face them with a casual "Hello, there."
Of course, there'll always be a certain twinge of some masked pain deep inside...but that's another matter in itself.
Whether with mutual friends, friends or family, we would have always tended to bring up our ex's names during our conversations. We do it unconsciously, yes, but we also tend (or tended) or do it with full knowledge as well.
And that was the past. Nearing the first year anniversary of the break-up, you would less and less feel that same need.
Be it the local bakery or the nearby diner, the places you went with your ex will always remind you of it when you go there now. That feeling might even hit the peak, true. Then again, like everything else, "it, too, shall pass."
Over time, that place will simply become yet another place to you and will not be overtly hostile towards that place or the memories that place brings inside you.
Oh trust me on this one! But then again, this would apply if you were in a near-physical relationship or it could even apply to just hugging or kissing. Most of the times, it would only be that feeling of missing that touch but no, not the feeling of the person who touched.
This is more or less like saying "Hey, yeah, I want you. But no, I don't like you." And no, this doesn't mean that you're a bad person, not one bit.
No more answering to somebody, no need to think twice about who you talk to and what you do or how late you go back home.
No nearly nothing. You are free to do what you want that you ever were. The weight of the break-up that would have earlier crushed you is now as light as a feather!
You are now a completely (mostly) a completely different person than whom you used to be. In a positive way, of course. All that you have gone through would have shaped you for the better and you will find yourself taking great pride in that fact!
Another teenager in university, having a penchant for Japanese, literature and all the small things in life that almost always go unnoticed.
