John Huh
Capitalism isn’t without it’s hilariously funny failures, as evidenced by this ten worst things for sale list of the most horrible commercially available products to ever exist. And boy was there no shortage of candidates that were ready to throw their hats into the ring on this ranking. We’ve taken many factors into account, from worthlessness, danger and overall stupidity factor for the product in question.
Some of these are dangerous, some are dumb but all of them belong on the Ten Worst Things for Sale countdown. So hide your wallet and credit cards, because we’re about to get started!
Kicking off our list of incredibly dumb products is this Open Fire Hot Tub by a company named Alfi. This unique tub is advertised to be able to “conduct heat” and improve heat transfer from the heated coils to your small yellow tub of water.
The problem is, this is about as subtle as lighting your cigarette with a flame thrower. The water in the tub warms up? I should hope so with a fiery furnace just three feet away from little Timmy’s fingers.
Either you have $4,000 dollars burning a hole in your pocket, or you secretly hate the fact your children are not hideously scarred, when you make FireHotTub your next backyard addition.
The only thing worse than this stick of “Power Bacon” deodorant is the fact that Terry Crews is not a spokesperson.
People in charge need to talk and make this happen.. Just imagine the commercials and how off the wall batshit crazy they would be.
It’s not quite nostalgic and it’s not quite stupid, but coming in at number 8 on our top ten worst things for sale countdown is this modern spin on the classic Polaroid cameras of old.
Complete with the signature Kodak paper that you must buy this camera does pretty much nothing you would want. It is spectacularly excellent at wasting corporate marketing dollars all in the name of comedy however.
One product that unbelievably, somehow exists and is sold still to this day, the Iphone Sticky Note checks in at number 7 on our ten worst things for sale.
At well over 6 times the cost of the standard sticky note, you can have this specially formed book of notes that you can apply to the back of your Iphone. Because yknow, using your phone to keep notes isn’t very smart at all.
The American flag in all it’s wondrous glory representing freedom and democracy, as it’s stood since 1777.
Is there any wonder then that this flag is made in China. Readily available online at many outlets like Amazon and Target online retailers, this American flag is a political and economic microcosm of our nation today.
For a perfect way to tote around 24 ounces of your favorite drink to work, to the game or even to your next prostate exam, the “Sneaky Shorts” are for men on the go.
The logistics of carrying around a beer and trying to keep it cold vs the obvious smells and heat this region of your body normally generates, I am not sure which is worse.
Just when you thought that humanity couldn’t possibly get any dumber, you see a beacon of truth like these appropriately named “tampon flasks”. Because nothing is more appealing to me than ripping open a tampon wrapper and quenching my thirst with an ice-cold tasty beverage.
Don’t like doing what 99.9% of all other women do to sneak liquor into a sporting event or concert by stashing something in your purse?
Then cash out and pick up a set of these nifty drink sticks for just 14.99 and watch as your girlfriends throw up with envy.
The “Hipshot” is a layover screen or a red laser dot that supposed to attach to your computer monitor to give you a small red dot in the middle of the screen. This allows players to run and gun or “shoot from the hip” giving this product it’s namesake.
While it does work and work well at that, at 24.95 I’d rather have 22 cheeseburgers than this worthless product that can be replicated with just a small bit of scotch tape and a red marker.
We all know Nicholas Cage will pretty much do anything for a paycheck, so I can understand why these pillows exist.
Nevermind, I lied.
King of the mountain of trash being sold is our number one entry on the ten worst things for sale countdown. Putting new meaning to the two words Iphone and ring, for just 29.99 you can turn your favorite Apple cell phone into a ring that will slip on your fingers like a huge clunking Iphone should.
No, I don’t know why either.
What did you think about the ten worst things for sale list? Have any doozies you would like to share?
John is a freelance writer, mechanic, and engine tuner. He provides content to several websites for SEO optimized websites of all manner.
