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Updated by Graeme Thomson on Nov 11, 2014
Headline for 9 WordPress Plugin Rumors So Bizarre They May Just Be True
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9 WordPress Plugin Rumors So Bizarre They May Just Be True

1

WordPress Plugins Can Give You an Erection Lasting More than 4 Hours.

WordPress Plugins Can Give You an Erection Lasting More than 4 Hours.

According to unsubstantiated rumors, over-exposure to and over-use of WordPress plugins can result in users experiencing an erection that lasts more than 4 hours. Independent verification of these claims has been hindered by (a) the refusal by the partners of such claimants to allow their husbands/boyfriends/lovers to leave the bedroom, and (b) the fact that the claimants are busy dancing around the bed the bed performing a lap of honor. Whatever the truth to this rumor, the good news is that WordPress plugins can be uninstalled without having to go to the emergency room and requesting that the doctors make an incision in your penis to drain out the blood!

2

IS Develops WordPress Random Jihad Generator Plugin

IS Develops WordPress Random Jihad Generator Plugin

Already well-known for its savvy and sophisticated use of social media, the so-called Islamic State, also known as IS, ISIS, or ISIL, has developed and launched its first WordPress plugin. Specifically designed for militant Islamic blogs, the plugin generates and posts to Twitter up to 3 dozen totally random Jihads a day.

3

WordPress Grindr, Scruff & Tinder Plugin Withdrawn

WordPress Grindr, Scruff & Tinder Plugin Withdrawn

Following an unprecedented spate of lawsuits, the controversial Grindr, Scruff & Tinder plugin has been withdrawn. According to a spokesman, due to a coding error details of successful hookups were being automatically displayed in real time, including the identity of the 3rd party and GPS details of the hookup location, on a side bar on the user’s blog.

4

Conspiracy Behind WordPress Conspiracy Theory Plugin?

Conspiracy Behind WordPress Conspiracy Theory Plugin?

Several users of the popular WordPress Conspiracy Theory plugin that provides bloggers with an instant matrix and algorithm explaining why any selected news story or historic event can be readily understood by the application of a conspiracy theory (users can select from different levels of conspiracy theory options, ranging from Simple Minded through Improbably Complex), have reported their suspicions that the plugin is, in fact, a covert private data phishing tool devised by a joint venture between Homeland Security and opponents of the National Rifle Association.

5

WordPress Rant/Rave/Bitch/Moan (RRBM) Plugin Launches

WordPress Rant/Rave/Bitch/Moan (RRBM) Plugin Launches

Perhaps the greatest must-have plugin for all time-constrained bloggers, the new WordPress RRBM plugin automatically generates a daily pre-prepared blog for you from an encyclopedic database of topics including Obamacare, the Economy, Immigration, 2nd Amendment Rights, the Gay Agenda, Capital Punishment, Islam, Climate Change, Coal, Foreigners in General, WordPress plugins, and many more.

6

WordPress Kardashian Plugin Update

WordPress Kardashian Plugin Update

The initially highly popular, but later much criticized, WordPress Kardashian plugin designed to capture any photos of, or gossip about, Kim Kardashian and instantly display them on your sidebar and share them on Facebook has been updated. The update corrects a typo in the original coding in which “Kardashian” was spelled with a “C”.

7

WordPress Plugins Work Better With Bacon.

WordPress Plugins Work Better With Bacon.

Although scientifically unproven, anecdotal evidence suggest that the simple act of eating a bacon sandwich while your plugin is downloading enhances the plugin’s operating performance and speed by anything up to 74%. Some user’s have claimed that turkey bacon has a similar (though cheaper, but far less pronounced) effect.

8

WordPress Plugins Are the Face of The Borg.

WordPress Plugins Are the Face of The Borg.

Several Trekkie users of WordPress plugins have claimed that the little Lego-like face that appears whenever a plug-in crashes is, in fact, the face of The Borg Collective. As proof of this they point to the fact that WordPress plugins seek to assimilate your biological distinctiveness, and that resistance to them is futile!

9

Every Time a WordPress Plugin is Downloaded a Unicorn is Born.

Every Time a WordPress Plugin is Downloaded a Unicorn is Born.

Variations on this rumor include every time a WordPress plugin is downloaded a unicorn grows a horn. It is not known whether the latter part of this rumor is in any way linked to the rumor mentioned 4 hours earlier.