Updated by Graeme Thomson on Oct 21, 2017

19 Awkward Moments That Every Anteater Understands

Listly by Graeme Thomson

So, what else can you eat with that tongue of yours?

When everyone with you at the restaurant is suddenly a comedian.

“You could have the ANTipasta!”

“How about an ANTchovie pizza?”

“Pancakes! Made with ANT Jemima’s pancake mix!”

Whipping out your box of ants at the barbecue.

Not to mention silently freaking out that they’re too small for the grill and are just going to fall through slats and get burned to a crisp.

Telling someone you’re an anteater.

When your friends want to tell you about weird foods they’ve tried or (more likely) heard about that they think must ...

“Grubs. In Australia the aborigines eat grubs.” “I once went to a Peruvian restaurant where they served guinea pigs.” “Didn’t John the Baptist eat locusts?” “Escargots! Now, escargots I DO like!”

People who crack jokes about anteaters because they think it makes them edgy and hilarious.

Ha, ha, ha. Call me an aardvark one more time and I’ll break your face!

Non-family members who don’t get it.

No, I’m not related to aardvarks, or echidnas, or fucking pangolins! I’m an ANTEATER, for Christsake!!

“So, what DO you eat? Ants?”

Yes. Because I’m a fucking ANTEATER!”

Going to restaurants.

looks at menu “So, basically you’ve got fuck all with ants in it?”

When someone invites you over to their house for dinner.

Your options:

Let them know you only eat ant and termites, which makes them feel obligated to go looking for ants nests or termite mounds in their back yards.
Don’t tell them, and so make them feel bad when they open the door and realize you’re a fucking anteater.

Going on road trips with non-anteaters.

You’re constantly torn between not wanting to delay the journey and knowing that the only way you’re going to eat anything is by pulling off the highway and burrowing into an ants’ nest.