List Headline Image
Updated by WalesOnCraic on Jul 27, 2017
 REPORT
10 items   2 followers   0 votes   1.46k views

10 Literal and Highly-Accurate Job Descriptions

We all go about our daily business, not really giving two shits about other people. But what do they actually do for a living? What do they actually get PAID to do?

1

Bus Driver

Bus Driver

I sit at the front of a large machine wearing a special uniform. With one of my feet, I press a big button that makes me and all the people who are sat behind me, move in the direction that I (and hopefully they) want to go.

2

Coffee Shop Worker

Coffee Shop Worker

I put hot brown liquid into receptacles which I then pass to people in exchange for some bits of metal.

3

Call Centre Operative

Call Centre Operative

I sit and make noises out of a hole in my face into a machine so that someone far away can hear me.

4

Farmer

Farmer

I nuture animals and vegetables until they’re big enough to chop into small pieces that I can then swap for some bits of metal to buy some more vegetables animals to nurture and chop up into small pieces.

5

Teacher

Teacher

I stand in the front of a room and make noises from a hole in my face so that the kids sat in front of me will know what’s in my head.

6

Estate Agent

Estate Agent

I show people piles of neatly-stacked bricks and hope that they will give me some bits of metal for it.

7

Gardener

Gardener

I put things in the ground and then pull things out when they’re a bit bigger.

8

Exotic Dancer

Exotic Dancer

I get paid to show people my bare buttocks, which I gyrate round and round in their faces.

9

Musician

Musician

Using various instruments, I make different sounds, varying in pitch and length, and in a particular order.

10

Politician

Politician

I talk out of my anus.