Fusion 360
Generally speaking, when Americans from Utah to New York think of the typical driver of a brand new 2014 Ford F150, they can’t help but think of the manliest of men. Names like Ron Swanson, Clint Eastwood, Robert De Niro, John Wayne and Skrillex come to mind. However, just as everything has its opposite, so too are there those whose names can be misleading. Not every man with the name “Henry” or “Ford” was meant to be in complete control behind the wheel of an F150.
Being Canadian doesn’t help anybody in any sector of life, but Mayor Ford — the 64th and current Mayor of Toronto — has only made life more complicated by mixing his various political platforms with heavy doses of cocaine. Driving while intoxicated isn’t only uncool in Utah, it’s frowned upon everywhere. Furthermore, doing so while hopped up on goofballs will never be worthy of the F150.
Red hair isn’t always a killer when it comes to being manly; Brett Favre is living proof of that. It’s just that royalty and mud-slinging pickups rarely feel comfortable around each other.
As a standout basketball player at the University of Texas — a state known for its love of power pickups — the future appeared bright for Mr. Ford. Taken with the eighth overall pick in the 2003 NBA draft, Ford’s career has been atrocious. In 2012, Ford was waived by the Golden State Warriors and traveled to Croatia to play professional basketball. Croatia? Not American enough for an F150 owner.
Not only is he French, but he also plays soccer. This guy’s more cut out for eating croissants than he is operating something with a V6 Eco Boost engine.
Ever heard of Leo Ford? This Ford is famous for having made his money through adult films. Unless he’s delivering an actual pizza in his F150, there’s no need for him to be associated with a truck as classy as the F150.
Recently Mr. Aaron caught a bit of flack for comparing white conservatives who didn’t approve of Obama Care to the Ku Klux Klan, saying, “The bigger difference is that back then they had hoods. Now they have neckties and starched shirts.” Henry Ford, himself, wouldn’t have approved of such behavior.
Though the F150 comes equipped with multiple safety features and in spite of what adoring housewives from Utah might say, nothing can protect a middle-aged man from the verbal onslaught brought upon himself by the regular wearing of an earring.
More commonly known as “The Fonz” from “Happy Days,” his character’s persona fits nicely with the Ford model, but a leather jacket and the fact that he’s only 5 feet 6 inches tall is rather belittling, to say the least. With the F150, you must be at least “this tall” to enjoy the ride.
Lucas Miller writes for Henry Day Ford. He is a writer at Fusion 360, an advertising agency in Utah.
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