Jennifer Villamere
Whoever she is, she's a thing now. If you're 1,000 years old like me and need a primer on stuff that is a thing now, here's a list of stuff about Ariana Grande.
She was on some Nickelodeon show called Victorious from 2010 to 2013. Then there was a spinoff of that show called Sam & Cat and she was on that, too.
She grew up in Boca Raton, Florida, presumably close to the Costanzas of Del Boca Vista. (All my Florida info is based on news reports of crazy Floridians and Seinfeld. Sorry, Florida!)
The album, The Way, received "critical acclaim" and debuted at number one on the Billboard 200.
I know, right? You're, like, how come I've never heard of this person? Answer: you're over 20.
She premiered the song Problem at the 2014 Radio Disney Music Awards, whatever that is.
Is any of this even real? Do you feel like you've been hiding in your laundry room for the past four years just washing and folding and maybe just taking a break sometimes to eat pasta but never absorbing any pop culture whatsoever?
Fucking laundry, eh?
Anyway, the new song features Australian rapper Iggy Azalea.
She's got a four octave range, which is major. People are all, like, "Oh my God, she's the next Mariah Carey!"
Whoever that is. LOL JK OMG ROFLMAO #YOLO, etc., etc.
Wake me up when we're talking about Harry Styles.
So that's good, considering those non-pants. Still, you're a pervert.
She performed at the iHeartRadio Music Awards the other night. Crowd shots during her two-song medley showed Rihanna laughing at her dancing and Luke Bryan and Blake Shelton looking confused/unimpressed.
Stop. The. Motherfucking. Presses. Bitch.
I'm with Ri-Ri because the dance routine was awkward, oddly prim, stiff and featured tired choreography. My televised dance routines are much, much fiercer.
Check out her performance [here](http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1sj4ji_ariana-grande-performs-iheartradio-music-awards_music).
