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Updated by Fusion 360 on Feb 10, 2017
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Finals Week’s Annals of Apathy: A Love Story

You should not do these things during finals week, but you will end up doing them because you are a sane individual who doesn’t care.

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Finals Week’s Annals of Apathy: A Love Story

Finals Week’s Annals of Apathy: A Love Story

Finals week is among the many torturous rites of passage society imposes on its young adults. Those who survive the ordeal get to graduate from college and work at a company that further deadens their souls. With such promising futures awaiting those boring enough to bury their noses in books all day, it’s no wonder the rest of us will do the following things during finals week.

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Forgetting That #2 Pencil

Forgetting That #2 Pencil

If you end up doing this, chances are slim to none that you studied for the exam. Furthermore, you probably stumbled into the classroom on exam day by chance and figured out that you had a final. Admit it. Even if you lived in Pennsylvania instead of Utah, you know you would still forget.

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Buying The Textbook For Your Class

Buying The Textbook For Your Class

It’s really not a big deal. You can get half the money you paid for it back in three days, post exam.

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Burning The Textbook You Just Bought After Realizing It Will Only Be Worth $10 at Resale to The Campus Store

Burning The Textbook You Just Bought After Realizing It Will Only Be Worth $10 at Resale to The Campus Store

Be that sane person and burn that book. Who cares what Ray Bradbury says in Fahrenheit 451; book burning is good and we could all start a movement against the textbook monopoly.

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Reading This List Instead of Studying

Reading This List Instead of Studying

Your life must be really boring if you’re blowing off studying to read this crappy writing. Just be sure to tell your professor I’m more interesting than his stupid analysis of Lord Byron. In Utah, procrastination throughout college must be king.

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Abusing Ritalin

Abusing Ritalin

Ritalin: Better than education at making dumb people smart since 1948

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Drinking Copious Amounts of Caffeine

Drinking Copious Amounts of Caffeine

So you can stay up all night not doing your homework.

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Getting Drunk

Getting Drunk

During those stressful times during finals week, most Utah college kids turn to the Book of Mormon for solace, but us lesser individuals prefer alcohol.

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Actually Studying

Actually Studying

Does anybody really care about G.P.A. anymore? Go out and do something fun in hopes of not looking like the dork.

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Author Bio

Author Bio

James O’Connor writes for Fusion 360, an advertising agency in Utah. He writes for AmeriTech College and many other clients.

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