Worst Bumper Stickers

You know the female model figurine silhouetted against a white backdrop? Well, some redneck decided to take his own play on it and display his own beauty (or lack thereof) on a sticker as classy as his spit bottle and moonshine littered porch, where he frequently brandishes his gun around squirrels invading his territory.

Thinking that the word “dad” is spelled with three Ds, the reactionary conservatives attempted to form an eponymous acronym for their cause. Yes, this is America. Guns, violence, beer-stained wife beaters, wife beating itself and gender inequality should reign supreme. Not.

A driver under the influence of Nickelback sounds like an even bigger jerk than a driver under the influence of dope, heroin, liquor, beer, speed, ecstasy, PCP, mushrooms, cocaine and LSD combined. Throw this guy in the Nickelback tank.

Thankfully, Utah is becoming gay-friendly, but if gays can’t drive their used cars straight, they may need to go back to Driver’s Ed.

Here we have yet another milieu of idiots who are encouraging everyone who sees their crappy used cars to buy into a political bipartisan line that distracts citizens from the real issues at play. Enough is enough? That’s a great argument…I’ll vote Democratic now…

If the President is an idiot, then he is leaps and bounds ahead of your lowly child who earns an honors designation for conforming to everything their teacher says. In other words, your kid must be really, really stupid.

From used cars to newly minted ones, everyone in Utah seems to be hopping on the “let’s make fun of stick figure decal bumper stickers” bandwagon. The joke is outplayed.

Having one of these stickers on your car is like being a member of the Kansas City Royals: nobody cares.

James O’Connor writes for Fusion 360, Utah’s #1 Public Relations and Advertising agency. He writes for many businesses in the valley, including Open Book Auto.