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Updated by Fusion 360 on Apr 22, 2014
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Worst Bumper Stickers

Stupid bumper stickers only further pique road rage. If the most sophisticated platform for your beliefs and opinions is something that was designed to keep your used cars from falling apart on a Utah street, it’s safe to say your opinion doesn’t matter to begin with. If you have any of the following bumper stickers on your car, it’s best you remove yourself from society entirely or light your vehicle on fire and watch the plumes of smoke leap up with your idiotic beliefs inside them.

1

Sitting Hillbilly

Sitting Hillbilly

You know the female model figurine silhouetted against a white backdrop? Well, some redneck decided to take his own play on it and display his own beauty (or lack thereof) on a sticker as classy as his spit bottle and moonshine littered porch, where he frequently brandishes his gun around squirrels invading his territory.

2

Dads against daughters dating democrats

Dads against daughters dating democrats

Thinking that the word “dad” is spelled with three Ds, the reactionary conservatives attempted to form an eponymous acronym for their cause. Yes, this is America. Guns, violence, beer-stained wife beaters, wife beating itself and gender inequality should reign supreme. Not.

3

Driver under the influence of Nickelback

Driver under the influence of Nickelback

A driver under the influence of Nickelback sounds like an even bigger jerk than a driver under the influence of dope, heroin, liquor, beer, speed, ecstasy, PCP, mushrooms, cocaine and LSD combined. Throw this guy in the Nickelback tank.

4

I’m so gay, I can’t even drive straight

I’m so gay, I can’t even drive straight

Thankfully, Utah is becoming gay-friendly, but if gays can’t drive their used cars straight, they may need to go back to Driver’s Ed.

5

Enough is enough! Vote Democratic!

Enough is enough! Vote Democratic!

Here we have yet another milieu of idiots who are encouraging everyone who sees their crappy used cars to buy into a political bipartisan line that distracts citizens from the real issues at play. Enough is enough? That’s a great argument…I’ll vote Democratic now…

6

My kid is an honor student, my President is an idiot

My kid is an honor student, my President is an idiot

If the President is an idiot, then he is leaps and bounds ahead of your lowly child who earns an honors designation for conforming to everything their teacher says. In other words, your kid must be really, really stupid.

7

Any bumper sticker making fun of stick figure decals

Any bumper sticker making fun of stick figure decals

From used cars to newly minted ones, everyone in Utah seems to be hopping on the “let’s make fun of stick figure decal bumper stickers” bandwagon. The joke is outplayed.

8

Stick figure decals

Stick figure decals

Having one of these stickers on your car is like being a member of the Kansas City Royals: nobody cares.

James O’Connor writes for Fusion 360, Utah’s #1 Public Relations and Advertising agency. He writes for many businesses in the valley, including Open Book Auto.