Jonathan Draper
These are the comic strips that you read to see how awful they are... today! They're insipid, stereotypical, maudlin, chauvinist, or just not funny. You tell yourself, "I won't waste my time on the bad strips today", but then you fear you may miss a real train wreck of a comic. So you look.... Bad move. Next stop, the bathroom.
Fantasizing Rose, Childlike Jumbo, thought-bubbled toddlers, cats, birds & squirrels. If it weren't so saccharine, I'd get diabetes just daydreaming about these sweeties.
As predictable as Skooby Doo. Should have been left at the pound. Please put ME down!
Take the Lockhorns back a few hundred years (please!), throw in everything you learned about the Vikings in kindergarten, and you've got Hagar & Helga.
I try to avert my eyes from that round sugar cube on the comics page. If I mistakenly stumble into one of Billy's dot-to-dot meanderings through the neighborhood, I look away lest I choke to death.
All the stereotypical regurgitations about lazy, leering, put-upon husbands and their long-suffering, tiresome, shop-aholic wives that you can stomach.
A right wing political rant infiltrating the comics page. Lacking in both humor and political insight, it's not even worth daily ink on the editorial page.
