10 Words to Let Go of When You're Ready to Live a Life igKnighted by Possibilities

This is one of the absolutely most insidious, stealthy ways to stay on the
down side of life. The words may be different; the feeling is the same. How
does it sound to you? How many places is it showing up in your life?

You must? Really? Who says? Who is telling you “you must” when you’re an
adult fully capable of making choices and weighing the consequences?
If you’re still listening to “musts” without making a choice based on what
you want in your life, I invite you to look carefully at that one and see
whether accepting it as a fate accompli is really truth, for you.

“Coulda/Shoulda” (or could’ve/should’ve have if you prefer proper
English) are definitely guilt, shame, and blame words. By definition, they’re
in the past, right? So how in the world can ya change what’s past?
Both of the words keep you lookin’ behind instead in the here and now. Both
of them have an “outside lookin’ in” component that, in essence, gives you
permission to feel bad, stay where you are, and point to someone else or
something else.

Is there such a thing? I’m not sure if there is that much permanency. AND I
know there are some places where always can work, or maybe not.
The thing is this: when we use always type language, it leaves no room for
something else to come in. Or it puts us in a bind (think about what happens
when you say “I’m

My goodness, why in the world would I put a word like “yes” in here? Isn’t
yes a good thing? Like all other words in our language, there’s a positive and
negative sound.
Think back a minute. Have you ever say “yes” to something when it was a
“should” or “have to”? Or when you know you’re already underwater and
overwhelmed with the number of things on your plate?
Or maybe you’ve said yes even when the wise voice within is saying “oh hell
no, not a yes, again, because you think someone will like you. Really?
Yes IS a good thing when you’re saying it to the right things for you. The
thing I’ve learned during my years as human being on this planet and as a
coach and consultant is that when we say yes to something, something else is
an automatic “no”.

Oh yeah, this is a great one isn’t it? “I Can’t”. Now, here’s the rub. There
many be things we don’t choose to do, or don’t want to do, or maybe we feel
they’re beyond our physical limits. Kewl. AND make sure the words aren’t
dragging ya down and feelin’ less than, ‘k?
If ya think about it, people without legs have walked, run marathons, played
piano. So if that’s our challenge, we can’t (oops!) necessarily say we can’t. We
could same something more empowering, yes?

“But” is a perfectly good word, isn’t it? I mean it’s in the dictionary after all
and we were taught as youngsters how to use it and all that jazz.
And yup, it is a perfectly good word…until you listen carefully how it is
used in our everyday language.
This is one of those words that easily negates whatever came before it. Or, if
there are two good things it is separating, one of them gets lost because we
tend to only hear the last one.

Dang it all anyway, what CAN I say? Anything that raises your energy in a
way that makes you happy. How’s that? Smile.
Try is another of those insidious weebly wobblies because it isn’t a
commitment. It isn’t “I’ll do x” or “won’t do y”.
It gives you an out, a back door and what I’ve learned is that it also gives ya
another way to beat the crap out of yourself. Either because you said “I’ll
try”, then didn’t. Or didn’t and felt you should have. Or some such thing.
Listen carefully when you say it and pick what you really mean: it may be
“no,” it may be or “I’ll check my calendar” or “that doesn’t sound like fun”.
Or…or…or

Ever finding yourself bristling when someone says “you have to” do x or y
or z? Or do you find yourself automagically jumping to attention and doing
it because someone says “you have to?

Uggggggggg, this infamous duo rarely sings a beautiful song. It’s tends to
have a bit off-key-ness to it. Why? “Cuz you’re in the wrong, no matter what.
Too fat, too skinny. Too tall, too short. Not enough of this, too much of that.
How that heck does that leave ya feelin’ grand and glorious and making a
kick-ass difference in the world? Seriously, what is that norm so many prattle
on about?