Expedition Self
Ways to Create Intimacy at the Holiday Table
At the beginning of the meal, share your sentiments about being present and included.
Acknowledge how someone else has shaped or impacted your life.
Really listen to others - ask questions - stretch to understand them in a new way.
Ask others about their lives, their experiences and their hopes.
Talk about a past relationship moment that never got resolved.
Be honest about what it's like for you to be in the family without placing blame.
Contribute to the conversation in a new way - try on a "new way of being."
Declare that something's "not working" - if it's really "off" in the space and there's something that needs to be worked through - speak about it without being accusatory.
Ask others about how they're really doing in life - is it all that they've wanted? how are they thinking about their dreams and hopes?
Talk about where others are unhappy with you. Own the role that you have played in their response - avoid being defensive - explore the dynamics that led to what happened.
Holidays represent a true opportunity to deepen the connection we feel towards those we love. In contrast, they are often filled with history that interferes with finding closeness. The intention to make a holiday loving often drives these past "moments" closer to the surface rendering the opportunity "lost." In many ways, it's a true feast for relationship building.
