Frontrunner Magazine
Dating can sometimes feel dismal. It’s really a numbers game, and finding the right one may seem impossible despite how many dating excursions or dinners you’ve endured. However, as many dates as it may take, the right person is out there and will eventually find their way to you. These helpful tips on the dos and don’ts of dating will assist you in speeding up your process in finding your perfect match.
The number one rule of dating is to be comfortable with who you are…otherwise no one else will. Make sure you are at a high point emotionally and mentally before you start jumping into the dating pool. Have hobbies, have interests, have a strong sense of identity, because when you truly love yourself, that opens the door to others reciprocating it.
Keep an open mind: Sometimes we have a type, and refuse to alter from it. But perhaps if you stay open-minded, you may meet someone who doesn’t fit your criteria but find that you are happily compatible. A lot of married couples were initially reluctant about dating someone who is now their partner. You may not want to date someone, but if someone is interested in you maybe give them a shot.
The internet has made it a lot easier to filter out people we don’t want in our lives, and also helps us to do investigative work on anyone we are curious about finding out info about. Before your date, it is a good idea to stalk that person on social media, to cross off that they are in fact not a serial killer, but also to veer the conversation to what their personal interests are.
When meeting your date for the first time, make sure it is in public otherwise it could sabotage any future together. Sex or a quick hookup will feel meaningless if you haven’t gotten to know the person yet, and hooking up is usually what happens if you go to someone’s abode. Usually a casual dinner with some wine makes a good and successful first date. .
It’s okay to have a few glasses of wine, or maybe some shared Sake, but taking shots and getting out-of-control drunk is not a good foot to start on, unless you’ve been dating a long time. Alcohol will only make you lose you inhibitions and make you more likely to say or do something you will regret later, possibly sabotaging a future together or a second date.
Dating should be fun. People treat dating like it’s a job interview, especially in NYC where the dating pool is vast. The more people you meet, the more you will realize what you do and don’t want in a partner. Even if the person isn’t your dream companion, remember to have a good time. It’s always fun to meet new people and realize you have options before settling down.
The hardest part about dating someone is getting ready for your date. Your closet will inevitably get messy in pursuit of the perfect date attire. Fashion blogger Leandra Medine calls herself “The Manrepeller” and basically gives women advice that they don’t have to look sexy for men, but rather wear what makes them feel fashionably stylish. What she realized is that what women find fashionable, is what repels men. When preparing your date attire, pick something out that makes YOU feel confident and sexy. Never dress for anyone else. Men may love it, but showing too much skin, specifically cleavage can be considered a sign of insecurity and lack of self-respect. Fashion is an outlet to express individuality, and what we wear is a reflection of our identity, so wear something that speaks to how you want to be seen, not as a sex object, but rather as an intelligent and powerful boss of a woman
You may have amazing chemistry, you may feel connected on multiple levels, but when asked to come over the apartment after the first date, politely declining is usually the way to go. People have all different opinions on when it is an appropriate time to get involved sexually. When things are rushed, it leaves little mystery, so don’t be that individual who puts out on the first date. Not that putting out on the first date is a bad thing, or should be looked down upon, but it’s best to earn and build up trust before rushing to sleep with someone.
Like just about everyone else, you are probably glued to your phone. However, when you’re on a date, there is nothing ruder and more distracting than someone who is indiscreetly answering a million texts. Be sure to put your phone on silent or on do not disturb so your date can hold your attention uninterrupted.
The worst thing you can do on a date is bring up your ex. It’s a red flag that you haven’t moved on from the past, and that you’re not ready for a future relationship. Leave that for a conversation amongst your friends. Nobody wants to be compared to someone else, nevertheless, someone they never met who has a past history with you, unless it’s a celebrity or someone they know
Don’t look desperate. Unless you’re officially a couple. taking selfies with your date and posting them on social media is a bad idea. It’s like taking a picture with a stranger and calling them your best friend.
Be open to going dutch if that’s what he wants. He may be on a low budget, and it shows that you are independent with your finances. However, in terms of traditional chivalry, it’s more preferred that the guy pay, but as we bridge the gender gap, it may be more appropriate to go dutch.
After dinner, depending on what you eat, you may get bad breath, which is not good because it may ruin the goodbye kiss. Without a mint or a piece of gum, there is a little trick you can do to freshen up your breath. Squeezing a lemon in your mouth give your mouth a tang of flavor, saving an otherwise unpleasant goodbye kiss, to a memorable one, and the promise of another date.
Even if it feels magical and serendipitous, keep in mind that it won’t always work out the way you intended. By assigning expectations on someone, and hoping to have a future with a person so early on, it may be setting you up to get hurt if things don’t work out as expected. So stay optimistic but don’t rely on the person to be your soulmate, because the person you’re meant to be with will always be there
Don’t ghost. People ghost when they’re trying to sever ties with someone but want to avoid conflict. With technology, and mobile devices, ghosting has become a strategy to let go of someone without facing the consequences. However, the other party is left in the dark not knowing the reason why they were on the receiving end of the ghosting. Ghosting is cowardly, and anyone who’s been ghosted can attest what a horrible thing it is. If you have a problem with someone, face them directly, but don’t take the ghosting route.
