FOBFO: Your Super Simple Steps To Stop Feeling Like A Fraud

We all have a comfort zone so anytime you go outside of this, you are growing and developing and those feelings of being an imposter may emerge. As adults, we don’t seem to be great at embracing the learning experience and put undue pressure on ourselves to just know how to do whatever it is why are attempting to do. You wouldn’t expect children to just ‘know’ how to do something, but do you expect yourself to be able to do anything and everything well, and, if you can’t then you conclude that you are some sort of failure or fraud? You often feel like an imposter when you are trying something new - for example, a new job role, a promotion, or even a new hobby or leisure activity. Accepting that when you are learning something new - a new job role, a promotion, even a new hobby or leisure activity - these feelings are natural for you and part of the change cycle. They are actually a good thing as they mean you are learning and growing - and you can let go of the need to be perfect at this stage.

With an estimated 70% of people experiencing imposter syndrome at some stage of their lives, this is an experience the majority of us share. People probably don’t realise you are struggling with these feelings, because you are hiding them so well, and are awesome at what you do, which is the same way you have no idea that 7 out of 10 people you know have struggled at some point in their lives in exactly the same way you are now.

And then internalise these! It can show you what you’ve overcome previously, how things that seemed impossible at the time are now things you take for granted, and that you have a lot of resilience and resources when facing into varied and sometimes challenging situations. Yes, you may be facing into something different, but knowing this is a curve that may be difficult for a bit, but you have your own evidence that you can ride this out and it will become easier, can give you inner confidence in your abilities to cope and be resourceful.

And take action! Think about your ideal situation - where you know you wouldn’t feel like an imposter. Identify what you genuinely need to learn and develop and then get the help you need. This help could be a mentor, talking to your manager if you trust them and feel it is appropriate, obtaining a new qualification. Also identify your own transferable skills and create a timelined plan that has small steps for how to get from where you are today to where you want to be - and then celebrate your wins along the way.