Meet Dudley. He is absolutely one of my favorite beings in existence, and has helped me through many occasions of personal turmoil, and sometimes I bring him to campus when I need a little extra love. He is super friendly and laid back, which is exactly what I need when I'm stressed out!
One of my favorite activities to relieve stress is horseback riding. I grew up taking lessons, and since my farm is near a rodeo, I get to ride around the property when I visit. I have always been an anxious person and grew up a fearful child, but horseback riding is one thing I felt that instilled confidence in me. I gained nonverbal communication skills and mutual respect with an initially intimidating creature to (literally) jump hurdles and get up back up when I fall down. I took this picture at Shackleford Banks of the wild horses grazing, which was such an enriching experience for a horse lover.
The summer before I came to college, I went with my (then boyfriend's) family on a trip all the way up the east coast. This view definitely is one of the most beautiful I have ever seen and my favorite picture I have ever taken. I like to think that the lighthouse serves as metaphor to say, even though I might lose sight of who I am, or find myself in the midst of chaos, I can always be guided home.
These are my best friends that I grew up with and still speak with practically everyday. Quiona, Kaylah, and Dreama have transformed into LGBTQ+ activists, leaders at their universities, and are working to be a future lawyer, policewoman, and pediatric neurosurgeon. I am fortunate to have best friends that keep me grounded, and to surround myself with such strong, successful girls who have in turn, become strong, successful women.
There were times my senior year where I didn't know if I was going to make it. I had an unconventional experience where I took online classes on top of a regular course load, so that I could get my foreign language requirement - that was more than stressful. I got deferred from my dream school. I didn't make All-District band. I didn't get many scholarships. However many "failures" I encountered, I still walked across the stage and got my diploma - and this is a reminder that I can do it again (even if I am really stressed and fail every now and then along the way).
When I'm super stressed, a way that I cope with it is through playing piano - something I've done since I was 9 years old. Although I don't play for jazz bands on this instrument anymore, I'll pick up some bar chords and focus the nervous energy into something creative.
In high school, I stepped out of my comfort zone and auditioned for a production of "Little Shop of Horrors." I had never sang on stage before, but I had a big solo in the finale, so I had practiced until it was nearly perfect. During a performance, something went wrong with in the sound booth and I had to stall. There was a big moment of panic as I am not one to do anything without thoroughly practicing first, and this derailed from any plan that we had rehearsed. The stage manager was yelling at me to do something through the wings, so I improvised lines for the next couple minutes until the sound was fixed. This reminded me that nothing ever works out perfectly, no matter how much you may prepare for it, and that sometimes, you just have to go with the flow.
When there are days that I can't really articulate my feelings or that I'm not so sure of myself, I know there's a poet out there that I can find kinship in. Opening up Youtube and playing an hour's worth of spoken word is sometimes exactly what I need to refocus.
Playing clarinet in wind ensembles, marching band, and jazz has really built up my confidence as a soloist and leader. This performance was one of the most memorable and where I felt the most "free" on stage, because everything was New Orleans style improvisation. Each of us cued in which one of us would start the improv, and was just a lot of fun with low stakes. It reminds me to occasionally let go, and to do what makes me happy.
This piece was the most difficult I have ever played in my college experience, but it is also, in my opinion (probably because of it centers around clarinet), one of the greatest creations of musical literature. Rhapsody In Blue is perfect for laying back, relaxing, and simply listening.
