5 Intentions that changed my life

This was my first attempt at a yearly intention. What I noticed first was how often I didn't want to be happy! I could actually feel my resistance when I would say the words. I discovered there are parts of me that like the feeling of sadness. I understand happiness now. It is wholeness. Knowing that I can be many things, feel many things and be okay. Be deeply, profoundly, happy.

These words by Rumi rang true that year...

“Your hand opens and closes, opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralysed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as birds' wings.”

― Rumi, Essential Rumi

This was year two's intention. It was such a powerful year. Unbelievable. Try it. When I would say these words I would see immediately some place in my life I was holding someone else responsible for my well-being, or my happiness, or my safety, my security, my success, my feelings of self-worth... you get the picture. This was the year I started taking risks, choosing to trust myself. I experienced the power of accountability to build confidence within myself and increase my personal effectiveness.

For so long I made excuses. This intention challenged so many limiting beliefs I held about myself and gave me the opportunity to transform them into beliefs that were empowering and self-supporting. I had no idea how much authority I gave the fear of humiliation in my life until I worked with this intention for 365 days. I stopped being confused (a mechanism I used to stay put and not risk) and I got clear. I know now that it was not capability I was seeking...it was courage.

My boss is in her mid-60's and she takes good care of herself. She inspired this intention. I modeled her behavior for a year. I started walking every morning, taking vitamins, found good healthcare, lost 30 lbs., started loving my body for the magnificent gift it is and so much more. What I learned this year was the connection between my physical well-being and my feelings of worth. I love myself now in the same way I love others...with my time and thoughtfulness. Life got so much better this year of learning to take good care of myself. It amazed me! Go for it.

When I set this intention in January I had a feeling it might kick my butt. I knew it would challenge some long held beliefs I had around self worth. Most of my life I have worked so hard to prove myself worthy of respect. I have been way out of balance on the doing side of life, with little time left for simply being. Type A workaholic for sure. This year I transformed my doing into being. It's weird, I am still working a lot, but I feel connected to what I am doing in a way I haven't in the past. I acknowledge how good I am at what I do and how I have created purposeful work by honoring my values. And, it's not only at work that I am experiencing changes. In my most important relationships I have gotten honest. Instead of doing things and then being resentful, I am saying what's important to me. I am sharing my opinions and honoring my wants equally with those I care about. The results, I am creating more of what I want and having a greater positive impact on my world.

Almost 30 years ago Tony Robbins fire walked with my boss at her home in Eugene, OR. This story intrigues me. He went from regular person to rich, audacious, and famous. I was thinking about what a person would have to believe about themselves to accept $60,000 to keynote. So, my intention for next year is going to be something around believing in myself the way Tony Robbins believes in himself. I am looking for a spiritual transformation. What I see that Tony Robbins has, that I do not have YET, is a mission larger than himself. He believes in his message and ability to help people transform their lives so much, that it overrides his fear of failure or rejection. I want that and I am excited for 2013 as I work with this new intention.