Grumpy Fuckers
Not sure if you're a Grumpy Fucker or not? Here are some tell-tale signs.
You hate loud noises in the morning. Things like someone breathing or your dog quietly licking its balls.
The words ‘fuck’ and ‘fucking’ feature in the very first sentence of your day.
When you go to bed at night, you think of all the people you hate and all the horrible things you’d like to happen to them.
When you see people smiling on their way to work, you want to rip those headphones out and shove them up their ass. Smile now, fucker.
If you have a partner, you sit as far away from them as you can in case they try talking to you.
When you get to work, you instantly wish that the place would burn down with everyone still in it. Even you.
Really, really hard.
When your boss strolls into view, you have strong feelings of homicide that you never felt before you started working in your current position.
On break, you sit away from all the ass-lickers in case they start talking about their ugly fucking kids or their smelly fucking pets.
Dealing with the general public makes you realise how many assholes exist in the world and it depresses you thoroughly.
When you get home from work, you switch on your TV and curse your way through whatever shit is on, before shutting it off.
The words ‘fuck’ and ‘fucking’ feature in the very last sentence of your day. And not in an erotic-getting-your-leg-over kinda way.
Masturbation is as exciting as cleaning your toilet.
