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Updated by Grumpy Fuckers on Aug 03, 2017
Headline for 13 signs that you're a Grumpy Fucker
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13 signs that you're a Grumpy Fucker

Not sure if you're a Grumpy Fucker or not? Here are some tell-tale signs.

2

You hate noise in the mornings

You hate noise in the mornings

You hate loud noises in the morning. Things like someone breathing or your dog quietly licking its balls.

1

'Fuck' is the first word of your day

'Fuck' is the first word of your day

The words ‘fuck’ and ‘fucking’ feature in the very first sentence of your day.

12

Bedtime thoughts

Bedtime thoughts

When you go to bed at night, you think of all the people you hate and all the horrible things you’d like to happen to them.

10

Partner can go fuck off

Partner can go fuck off

If you have a partner, you sit as far away from them as you can in case they try talking to you.

3

Happy commuters are pricks

Happy commuters are pricks

When you see people smiling on their way to work, you want to rip those headphones out and shove them up their ass. Smile now, fucker.

4

Arriving at work make you want to vomit

Arriving at work make you want to vomit

When you get to work, you instantly wish that the place would burn down with everyone still in it. Even you.

5

Work colleagues need a punch in the face.

Work colleagues need a punch in the face.

Really, really hard.

6

Your manager needs some kind of injury.

Your manager needs some kind of injury.

When your boss strolls into view, you have strong feelings of homicide that you never felt before you started working in your current position.

7

Break room hell

Break room hell

On break, you sit away from all the ass-lickers in case they start talking about their ugly fucking kids or their smelly fucking pets.

8

The world is full of assholes

The world is full of assholes

Dealing with the general public makes you realise how many assholes exist in the world and it depresses you thoroughly.

9

TV is shit

TV is shit

When you get home from work, you switch on your TV and curse your way through whatever shit is on, before shutting it off.

13

That word 'fuck' again.

That word 'fuck' again.

The words ‘fuck’ and ‘fucking’ feature in the very last sentence of your day. And not in an erotic-getting-your-leg-over kinda way.

11

Masturbation (yawn)

Masturbation (yawn)

Masturbation is as exciting as cleaning your toilet.