Abbrah Kahdavver
These are the Funniest articles on the satire page News of the Night. Vote for your favorites or add some that you thought were great.
A portly feline named Whiskers is making headlines with bold claims that he has been subjected to a "food deprivation scheme" under the guise of a recent diet. Despite his pleasantly plump appearance, Whiskers insists he's never been fed in his entire life and is currently about to die of starvation. The rotund rascal, known…
Should have listened to me when I said it was a bad idea. But you just had to have it your way and do what you want. Now your wonderfully planned night out has become a circus and you find yourself in the company of an absolute clown. I should just walk away and let…
In a tale of romantic expectations meeting the realities of personal style, a local man, Terry Sutton, has found himself fashionably disappointed after discovering that his new goth girlfriend doesn't always dress in the quintessential 'spooky' fashion he envisioned. Sutton, who has long harbored a penchant for the dark and mysterious, was over the moon…
Recently News of the Night and its host, Abbra Kahdavver, won a very prestigious award. In his own words: The competition was extremely fierce, but the dedication put forth by myself to win this award was well worth it. I have worked hard every single day and I feel like it was well earned. It's…
In a shocking revelation that could have far-reaching consequences for the digital world, sources confirm that the mines responsible for extracting QR codes are on the verge of running out, unable to cope with the ever-increasing demand for these pixelated marvels. QR codes, the ubiquitous square-shaped patterns that have become a staple in modern marketing…
A team of scientists have successfully created a horse-sized duck in a quest to settle the age-old debate over which would be scarier – a horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses. The inspiration for this feathery experiment reportedly came from a heated pub debate among inebriated patrons, with opinions divided on whether facing a…
The legendary Lady of the Lake has reportedly relocated across the pond, swapping her iconic Excalibur sword for a more modern arsenal of firearms, and she's not shy about giving them away. Known for her dramatic appearances in legendary tales, where she bestowed the mighty Excalibur upon King Arthur, the Lady of the Lake has…
There's a daring startup company is gearing up to revolutionize cleanliness and culinary adventures simultaneously by introducing the world to edible soap. The brainchild of soap aficionado turned gastronomic visionary, Barry Silverman, the startup, aptly named "Suds & Munch," envisions a world where lathering up is not just a necessity but a delectable delight. Barry,…
A popular night club recently bestowed its coveted "Dancer of the Year" award upon none other than an orange tabby cat known for its mesmerizing moves on the dance floor. The feline phenom, aptly named Tango, has become a sensation at the nightclub, where patrons have been charmed by its spontaneous and surprisingly rhythmic dance…
