Kyle Hunt
In ancient Egypt, everyone was screwed Everyone, except a few people. The aristocrats, military leaders, and the Pharaoh himself all had exclusive access to “Egyptian air conditioning,” whereas the indentured populace had nothing more than a stem of grass or a rock to hold over their heads. The social elite thrived on the shade of their divine birthright, while the indentured sat in the mud, screwed.
A pharaoh would sit underneath a canopy, or an awning if you will, all day while the servants fanned him with massive palm leaves. Being the pharaoh was a tough job, requiring him to order architects to design massive sphinx’s using conscripted labor from foreign countries. He would toil through the difficulty of being pampered and attended to at every moment, eating fruits and meats and breads of every kind under has canopy awning, enjoying the shade so mercifully provided by it.
Along with his canopy awning was the world’s first portable fan, which was an indentured servant waving a palm leaf up and down. He couldn’t do it too quickly, because the pharaoh enjoyed slower, undulating movements like the waves in the Nile. Multiple servants were assigned to this task, because the divine ruler couldn’t afford to be too hot at any given time, lest his judgment be clouded by extreme heat. His fan was also automated, for all he had to do was point and glare at it, and it would wave frantically faster. Royalty truly lived the life of luxury.
The commoners, on the other hand, were not privy to servants, or special canopy awnings, so they had to find other ways to cool off. Their options, however, were limited: the Nile was full of crocodiles, and bathing in it was dangerous. Rolling around in the mud, now that’s just juvenile (juve-Nile, get it?). And no one wanted to fan everyone with palm leaves, that would just look silly. So, with a little engineering, they developed ventilators in their homes to help push the heat out. Thus the first home air conditioning system was invented.
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In ancient Egypt, everyone was screwed Everyone, except a few people. The aristocrats, military leaders, and the Pharaoh himself all had exclusive access to "Egyptian air conditioning," whereas the indentured populace had nothing more than a stem of grass or a rock to hold over their heads.
