Updated by Bill Liao on Aug 31, 2021

Paraprosdokians

List of funny paraprosdokians for you to add to rank and share.

Many have been added to a new book http://bit.ly/Paraprosdokians

A paraprosdokian ( /pærəprɒsˈdoʊkiən/) is wordplay where the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret an earlier part.

A really good example where the word "right" changes meaning as the sentence is completed;

Source: http://www.paraprosdokianfun.com

198

One thing that humbles me deeply is to see that human genius has its limits while human stupidity does not.

Alexandre Dumas

121

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

149

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool

118

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

A Paraprosdokian Sentence from the big list at www.parapraodokianfun.com

151

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

A Paraprosdokian Sentence from the big list at www.parapraodokianfun.com

204

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

123

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

A Paraprosdokian Sentence from the big list at www.parapraodokianfun.com

126

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

A Paraprosdokian Sentence from the big list at www.parapraodokianfun.com

156

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Http://www.paraprosdokianfun.com

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160

Oscar Wilde said: "Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go."

200

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

Einstein

www.paraprosdokianfun.com

146

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, you will be a mile away and he won’t have any shoes.

Http://www.paraprosdokianfun.com
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185

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. - Andretti

Laugh out loud at these carefully collected, witty, wise, fun and funny paraprosdokian sentences you can copy & share!

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213

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

Abraham Lincoln
www.paraprosdokianfun.com

147

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

153

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Http://www.paraprosdokianfun.com

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176

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Http://www.paraprosdokianfun.com

Supporting WeForest.org and CoderDojo.com

148

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

197

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Einstein

202

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

Mae West
www.paraprosdokianfun.com

203

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.

Zsa zsa Gabore
www.1x.cm

122

150

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Paraprosdokians

One thing that humbles me deeply is to see that human genius has its limits while human stupidity does not.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Oscar Wilde said: "Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go."

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, you will be a mile away and he won’t have any shoes.

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. - Andretti

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.

The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried.

A problem is really only a fact that someone is resisting.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Bill Liao

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Paraprosdokians

One thing that humbles me deeply is to see that human genius has its limits while human stupidity does not.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.

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