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Updated by Bill Liao on May 10, 2017
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Paraprosdokians

List of funny paraprosdokians for you to add to rank and share.

Many have been added to a new book http://bit.ly/Paraprosdokians

A
paraprosdokian ( /pærəprɒsˈdoʊkiən/) is wordplay where the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret an earlier part.

A really good example where the word "right" changes meaning as the sentence is completed;

Source: http://www.paraprosdokianfun.com

1

One thing that humbles me deeply is to see that human genius has its limits while human stupidity does not.

Oct 07, 2012
One thing that humbles me deeply is to see that human genius has its limits while human stupidity does not.

Alexandre Dumas

Sep 09, 2012 - paraprosdokianfun.com - 20419
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.
Sep 09, 2012 - paraprosdokianfun.com - 21773
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

A Paraprosdokian Sentence from the big list at www.parapraodokianfun.com

Sep 09, 2012 - paraprosdokianfun.com - 18635
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

A Paraprosdokian Sentence from the big list at www.parapraodokianfun.com

Sep 09, 2012 - paraprosdokianfun.com - 20191
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
A Paraprosdokian Sentence from the big list at www.parapraodokianfun.com
Sep 09, 2012 - paraprosdokianfun.com - 18167
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Http://www.paraprosdokianfun.com

Supporting WeForest.org and CoderDojo.com

8

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Oct 10, 2012
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
9

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Sep 09, 2012
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

A Paraprosdokian Sentence from the big list at www.parapraodokianfun.com

11

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

Oct 07, 2012
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
13

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Sep 09, 2012
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Sep 09, 2012 - paraprosdokianfun.com - 21068
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Http://www.paraprosdokianfun.com

Supporting WeForest.org and CoderDojo.com

Sep 18, 2012 - 1x.cm - 21738
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. - Andretti

Laugh out loud at these carefully collected, witty, wise, fun and funny paraprosdokian sentences you can copy & share!

Supporting WeForest.org and CoderDojo.com

16

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

Oct 21, 2012
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

Abraham Lincoln
www.paraprosdokianfun.com

19

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Oct 06, 2012
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Einstein

20

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

Oct 09, 2012
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
21

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.

Oct 10, 2012
He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.

Zsa zsa Gabore
www.1x.cm

Sep 09, 2012 - paraprosdokianfun.com - 18616
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.
Http://www.paraprosdokianfun.com
Supporting
WeForest.org and CoderDojo.com
Oct 01, 2012 - paraprosdokianfun.com - 19735
A problem is really only a fact that someone is resisting.

Laugh out loud at these carefully collected, witty, wise, fun and funny paraprosdokian sentences you can copy & share!

Supporting WeForest.org and CoderDojo.com

Sep 09, 2012 - paraprosdokianfun.com - 21065
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.